FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH, ATLANTA, GEORGIA
Sermon by Dr. George Bryant
Wirth
Palm/Passion Sunday
April 13, 2003
FROM HERE TO ETERNITY:
THE STAGES OF LIFE, DEATH
AND RESURRECTION –
Although I began to plan this series of Lenten sermons last summer, focusing on the theme “From Here to Eternity: The Stages of Life, Death and Resurrection” – the truth is that the original idea was conceived in my heart and mind a long time ago.
Back
in 1979, soon after my mother died from liver cancer at the age of 51, a friend
of mine gave me a book, this book entitled “Good Grief,” written by the
Lutheran pastor Granger Westberg. This
perceptive author and retired professor of religion and medicine at the University
of Chicago, who also founded the parish nurse program for churches across
America, Westberg described what happens when we lose someone we love through
death, divorce and any other kind of separation, or when we lose something that
has been important to us, like our job or our health or anything else which,
when taken away, may shake the very foundations of life as we know it.
Westberg
says that we go through a grief process of at least ten stages, including:
(1) shock, (2) denial, (3) depression, (4) loneliness, (5) fear and distress, (6) guilt, (7) anger and resentment which can eventually lead us toward (8) acceptance, (9) hope and (10) a sense of peace as we affirm the reality of life and death and the promise of eternity in heaven.
Well, I had studied most of that theoretical information in seminary, and thought I knew what it was all about … until my mother died far too young and the bottom suddenly dropped out from under me. All these years later, I now know that what Granger Westberg wrote in this book more than three decades ago is timeless and true: we, all of us, go through this grief process in different ways, but the stages of what we feel and have to deal with are basically the same.
In
reading the gospel stories about how Jesus and His first disciples made their
way toward Jerusalem – to the triumphal entry through those city gates which we
celebrate today, and the Last Supper in the Upper Room, and Calvary’s Cross and
Easter’s Empty Tomb – in reading about the joys and the sorrows, the ups and
downs, the pains and the gains of their journey 2000 years ago, I think we can
discern and discover a similar pattern in the stages of our lives today.
That
is what this sermon series has tried to explore, and this morning we take one
step more toward our destination as we talk together about how grief can be
good if we trust in the Lord to show us the way.
I.
From
our reading last week in the 11th chapter of the gospel of John, you
will remember that Lazarus had died, and that his sisters Mary and Martha and
all of their friends were grief-stricken as they tried to deal with their
depression. When Jesus finally arrived,
both sisters said to him, Lord, if you had been here, our brother would have
survived (John 11:21, 32) …and so said all the others: Could not He who
opened the eyes of the blind man have kept Lazarus from dying? (John 11:37)
That
is where we pick up the story now, and it is important to recognize how Jesus
identified with them. John tells us
that He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled (verse 33), and when
they led Him to Lazarus’ grave, Jesus wept alongside them (verse 35).
Please
notice that he did not say, “keep a stiff upper lip,” neither did He say,
“Every cloud has a silver lining,” nor did He say, “Don’t worry. Everything is going to be ok.” Jesus knew that those platitudes wouldn’t
work, because what those broken-hearted, grief-stricken people really needed
was someone to be there and to care about them.
A
hospital chaplain up in rural Tennessee once said that working with people who
had suffered loss in their lives reminded him of a farmer he knew who was
plowing a field one spring morning. The
spring thaw had turned the ground into mostly mud, and before too long, his
tractor got stuck. So he went and knocked
on his neighbor’s door and asked for help.
The neighbor came over, surveyed the situation, shook his head and said,
“It doesn’t look good, so I’ll tell you what.
Let’s try to pull you out, but if that doesn’t work, I’ll come sit in
the mud with you.”
Sometimes,
often times that is the best thing, perhaps the only thing we can do for others
or they can do for us when we are grief stricken and stuck in the mud. John says that Jesus identified with and
came alongside those people in their sorrow and pain. And that is what He has promised to anyone and everyone here who
is struggling with grief today – to be present through His Holy Spirit and
through the healing power of love from those around us, until our hearts begin
to heal and we can finally feel and see the light at the end of the tunnel.
If
you have come this morning grieving the loss of someone or something that was
important in your life, then I encourage you to find out about our care
ministry and counseling center, and the grief groups and divorce support groups
and all the other groups that are meeting together in this church. What better place than here, what better
time than now to open the door and allow the healing process to happen.
II.
Now
there’s another thing in this story which is important and truly profound. When Jesus arrived at Lazarus’ grave, He did
not engage in the conversations whirling all around Him about why this had
happened to such a good person.
Instead, He decided what needed to be done, and in a dramatic moment,
Jesus said, even when the others tried to protest: Take away the stone!
Sometimes,
in the midst of our grief and pain, as we ask the haunting, human questions
“Why me? Why him? Why her?
Why did this happen?” we can get stuck in the mud all over again. And that is when, that is where, Jesus
Christ can help us to face the reality that life is not always fair. Bad things do happen to good people.
In
the past few months, I have lost and some of you have lost dear and precious
people whom we loved. During the past
year, members of this congregation have suffered financial setbacks, family
trouble and personal trauma that we never thought possible. And over our lifetimes, all of us have been
forced to face disappointments and moments of discouragement that we did not
anticipate…like the woman who wrote the following letter to her former fiance:
“Dear John,
Words
cannot express the deep regret I feel at having broken our engagement. Will you please come back to me? Your absence leaves an emptiness that no one
else can fill. So I ask you to forgive
me, and let us start again. I love you.
Your
adoring Sally
P.S.
Congratulations on winning the Georgia lottery.”
However, whenever it happens, and we find ourselves in the midst of real grief and sorrow, Jesus Christ has shown us the way toward healing today and hope for tomorrow. Instead of wallowing in our pain and asking over and over again, “Why me? Why him? Why her? Why did this happen?” He can help us change the question from “Why?” to “What? What can I do to see this through?”
My
friends, that question can be answered as we decide to do our best and leave
with the Lord all the rest. Jesus
Christ, standing beside the grave of His friend Lazarus, declared, Take away
the stone! And that is what He
calls all of us to do if we want to be healed and made whole.
Helen
Worth, a grandmother, teacher and active member of the United Methodist Church
in Portville, New York, discovered at the age of 54 that she had AIDS. It happened because of a blood transfusion
during surgery, and her life would never be the same again. Finally, after all of the questions, “Why
me? Why now? How did this happen?” Helen Worth wrote a poem which reflects her
faith and hope for the future:
“I am over the initial shock now.
Whole days pass when I am able
To forget my adversity.
Now I have an answer to the question
‘Why me?’
For God has opened many doors providing
Opportunities;
A college-level job teaching teachers to
Teach;
Community speaking engagements, and
Sometimes I am even asked to preach…
But I would be remiss without saying that
Sometimes I am sad and afraid of the future…
However, with the grace of God, these moments do not
last – for new opportunities
Await me.
My uncertainties are assigned to the past.
And instead of lamenting on the question
‘Why me?’ I ask, ‘What must I do to see this
through?’”
(Printed in The Interpreter, February-March, 1991,
and Pulpit Resource, Year C, Vol. 20, No. 1, 1992 – last line paraphrased)
You see, instead of asking the question, “Why me?” we can move on through our grief and ask God to help us do something that will help us make a difference in our lives and the lives of others.
And
that brings us to our conclusion today, as we affirm that grief can be good if
we trust in the Lord to show us the way.
Jesus
cried with a loud voice, Lazarus, come out! And as that dead man walking
emerged from the grave, Jesus commanded, Unbind him and let him go! (John 11:43-44).
The
raising of Lazarus was a miracle and surely, it is still a great mystery. But this we can know beyond the shadow of a
doubt: when we trust in Jesus Christ to unbind us, to release us and help us
come out of our grief, He has the power to set us free!
During
the past week, most of us have been watching on TV the historic and incredible
events that are happening in the Middle East.
To be sure, there are mixed emotions and differing opinions about the
war in Iraq. But as we look at the
faces of those men, women and children in Baghdad and Basra and other cities
and villages throughout that country, it would appear that the reign of grief,
terror, violence and fear is coming to an end and the hope of reconciliation,
freedom and peace is about to begin.
Those
people in the city streets are celebrating today, reminiscent of what happened
at the gates of Jerusalem a long time ago and far away. “Hosanna!
Hosanna! Blessed is He who comes
in the name of the Lord!” And He, Jesus
Christ, has the power to heal our hearts, to help us overcome our grief and to
bring peace to this war-torn and weary world.
Remember,
at the Last Supper in the Upper Room what He said to His first disciples and to
all of us still today: My peace I
give to you, not as the world gives, but My peace I give to you. So let not your hearts be troubled, neither
let them be afraid (John 14:27).
And that is called “Good Grief.”
In
the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
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