FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH

If you leaf through Webster’s Dictionary and stop at the letter “M”, followed by the letters “IDDLE AGE”, you will discover this definition:

Middle Age – the time of life between youth and old age, now usually the years from about 40 to about 65.”

I have no doubt that when Noah Webster wrote his first edition of the dictionary back in 1807, the definition of middle age was different because people didn’t live as long then as we do today. And that was surely true in Old Testament times, when the 90th Psalm was written, declaring that the years of our life are three score and ten, or even by reason of strength, fourscore. Doing the arithmetic, our Biblical forbears hoped to make it to 70 or 80, so the middle of life would have put them at 35 or 40.

Even so, our definitions of middle age are subject not only to which century we live in – they are also determined by the way we look at our journey through life. One teenager told me emphatically that “once you hit 30, it’s all down hill from there.” And a woman I know who is well beyond 65, said to me with a twinkle in her eye, “I’ll be middle aged until the day that I die!”

The truth is, how we define middle age isn’t nearly as important as how we live into and through those years that mark the Autumn Season of Our Lives. Some people look at the fall as exactly that – the time when life begins to fall apart, or when we start to fall behind as the pressures build up and our capacity to cope gradually wears down.

To be sure, the pressures are real, sometimes painfully so. But I believe that we as Christians have been given the spiritual resources to take on those pressures and to make the most of our possibilities during the autumn season of middle age. And that is what this sermon seeks to affirm and to proclaim.

I.

Writing for the Boston Globe back in 1985, the syndicated columnist Ellen Goodman had this to day about middle age:

“In middle age, most of us are flanked by adolescent children and aging parents…In the past year, a neighbor of mine has helped her son choose a college and her mother choose a retirement home. A friend who has just stopped accompanying her children to doctors’ appointments has begun driving her father to his. And a colleague who filled her 30’s with guilt about being a working mother is now entering her 50’s with guilt about being a working daughter. It’s her parents who need her now.

(We try to raise our children to become independent and then we begin) to prepare for our own old age…with IRA’s and Social Security and medical insurance. But Social Security doesn’t make telephone calls and Medicare doesn’t visit the hospital, and while independence extends longer now into the late decades, it is a rare person who leaves this life without becoming somewhat dependent on others, especially their children.” (From an article entitled “Caring for Mom and Dad” by Ellen Goodman, The Boston Globe, May 30, 1985)

You see, in middle age, many of us face and must embrace the pressure of taking care of our children and our parents at the same time. During the summer season of life, it often feels like we are sitting in the middle of a seesaw, trying to balance our responsibilities on both ends.

We strive to be successful at work and at the same time, to be faithful spouses and loving parents at home. We want to become more involved in the worship and ministry of the church on Sundays and during the week, while at the same time, we want to enjoy some leisure and rest on the weekend. We try to make and to save some money for retirement, but at the same time need to pay the bills, to feed, clothe and educate our children and to share our resources with those who are in need.

And as Ellen Goodman put it so well, we want to devote ourselves to our sons and daughters while at the same time honoring our older parents with the love and attention they require. A New York Times cartoon depicted a business executive sitting in his office, reading a letter which said:

Dear Sonny,
Thank you for the copy of your annual report. Your father and I are proud of the good job you’re doing as President of such a big outfit, but we thought you looked tired in the picture of you opposite the President’s Report. Have you been getting enough rest and exercise? Are you taking your vitamins, and is that daughter-in-law of ours fixing you good, nourishing meals? We’d like to see you more often.

As we sit on the see- saw of middle age, trying to balance our responsibilities and to handle the pressure of it all, there are days when it feels, as the Psalmist once said, like toil and trouble with no relief in sight. But on other days, we realize that God has blessed us with work to do, with resources to share, with people to love and with the faith to believe and to hope that everything will turn out all right.

II.

That is, unless, or should we say until we run head on into those crisis moments in mid-life when something happens that we did not want and surely never expected.

The marriage that you thought would last a lifetime came unraveled and ended in divorce. The corporation you worked for decided to downsize some of its operations and suddenly, you were unemployed. Your teenage son or daughter, who seemed to be doing so well, got into drugs or alcohol and in desperation, you had to find help. And after months of putting it off, you finally went to see the doctor and discovered that what you had been feeling needed immediate attention and that the healing process would take a long time.

We call it a “mid-life crisis,” and for most of us, it is far more serious than buying a motorcycle on a whim or trying to re-live our adolescence all over again. For me, it was an unexpected bout with depression at the age of forty. As my anxiety increased and my energy decreased, I found the help of a good Christian counselor and was surrounded by the strong support of my family and friends. And it was then, during that time of crisis, that I re-discovered the power of prayer, the depth of God’s love, the height of His grace and the healing strength of His Word, especially in our text today from the 90th Psalm, which says:

So teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom…return O Lord, and have mercy on thy servants. Satisfy us in the morning with thy steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all of our days (Psalm 90:12-14)

In other words, we do not have to face the fall of our lives by relying on our own strength and stamina or determination and drive. God is our source of strength, a very present help in times of trouble (Psalm 46) throughout all the Seasons of Our Lives, especially during middle age.

And when we are able to accept that truth, when we finally decide to affirm that hope, then we can rejoice and find fulfillment in the Autumn of Life. We need not look back with nostalgia on the spring and summer of our years, wishing once more for the good old days. And we don’t have to wait in frustration for a future moment when somehow things might be better.

Instead, with a sense of reality, we can embrace the possibilities which the Lord sets before us in middle age. I think that is exactly what the Psalmist meant when he said long ago, So teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom. (Psalm 90:12).

That kind of wisdom is described in one of my favorite prayers, and if you are living in the autumn of your life, I hope that it can become your prayer too. Listen:

A PRAYER FOR THE MIDDLE-AGED
Lord, thou knowest better than I know myself that I am growing older. Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and for every occasion. Release me from desiring to straighten out everybody’s affairs. Make me thoughtful, but not moody; helpful, but not bossy. With my vast store of knowledge, it seems a pity not to use it all, but thou knowest, Lord, that I want a few friends at the end of the journey.

Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details and give me wings to get to the point. Seal my lips on my aches and pains, for they are increasing and love of rehearsing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by.

I dare not ask for improved memory, but for a growing humility that when my recollections clash with the memories of others, it is more than possible that I just might be mistaken.

And help me to be reasonably good. I do not want to become a saint – some of them are so hard to live with. But a sour person is one of the crowning works of the Devil. So give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places and talents in unexpected people. And grant me the grace to tell them so. Amen.”

CONCLUSION

That gift of wisdom, which comes from God, leads us to one more possibility we can discover during middle age, and it’s called spiritual renewal.

Nicodemus, whom we read about in our gospel lesson, was living in the autumn of his life. He was a Pharisee, he had gone to the right schools and held a position of influence in his community. By all of society’s standards, Nicodemus had it made.

But deep down inside his soul, Nicodemus was running on empty and had a restless feeling, which we too have felt, that there must be more to life than what he had taken hold of and settled for.

So Nicodemus came to Jesus secretly one night, and said, Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher come from God, for no one can do these signs that you do unless God is with him. It was a safe introduction, complimentary, and well thought out.

But Jesus saw immediately that this man was looking for something, and wasted no time in getting to the heart of the matter. Truly, I say to you, unless we are born anew, we cannot see the kingdom of God, He said. Nicodemus asked, How can we be born anew when we are old? And Jesus answered, Unless you are born of the Spirit, you cannot enter the kingdom of God.

There was no bolt of lightning that night, no sudden conversion experience. But Nicodemus had found what he was looking for. How do we know? The Bible tells us so, because toward the conclusion of John’s gospel, when Jesus was crucified, it was Nicodemus and another man named Joseph of Arimathea who took His body down from the cross. And after the resurrection, Nicodemus knew beyond the shadow of a doubt, that Jesus was alive.

In the autumn of his life, Nicodemus found the spiritual renewal he was looking for. And in the midst of the pressures and possibilities of middle age, so can we. All that it takes is for us to make one step toward putting our faith in Jesus Christ, and He will join us on our journey through The Seasons of Life, and lead us into the kingdom of God.

In the name of the Father, and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen